First of all, a big congratulations to Bav for becoming a two-time champion despite benching a quarterback who somehow outscored the indomitable Lamar Jackson.
Second of all, go fuck yourself, Bav.
Now, onto business.
For 2020, there are a number of proposed changes that will require discussion and voting. They are as follows:
Trade Deadline. Proposal: week 10 be the last week in which a team may offer a trade.
Trade veto requirement. Proposal: a super majority of team owners veto a trade as oppose to what is currently in Article VI, a simple majority.
Locked player trading. Proposal: any accepted trade may only be prematurely approved by league commissioner if the players involved are not locked.
Sacko Bowl Tournament. Proposal: the teams not involved in the playoffs shall compete in a reverse single-elimination tournament with the 2 teams with the worst records having a first round bye.
Votes on all of the issues outlined above will come in the coming weeks after a lengthy and healthy discussion.
No. 01–0001. Argued August 19, 2019 — Decided August 20, 2019
I
Petitioner Justin Dreyer AKA “Sheets” informed the commissioner on August 19 of the potential infraction that occurred Sunday September 2 2018 involving the incorrect drafting of a designated keeper during the 2018 draft; specifically that Mr. Mehta drafted DeAndre Hopkins, AKA “Nuk”, 13th overall (round 2) instead of 12th overall (round 1).
Under normal circumstances, this infraction would have required that the defendant alternatively draft the next highest player according to Article X Section II of the 4th and Forties Constitution. However, due to the nature of the draft and the simultaneous selections Mr. Mehta was afforded, the infraction was not discovered, seen or otherwise noted until 351 days after the incident.
The correction of the incorrect drafting would have created a situation in which no current guidelines or rules are set.
Un-drafting of AJ Green at pick 12
Auto-drafting of next highest ADP player
This would have created a conflict as Mr. Mehta had designated “Nuk” as his first round keeper. Hence, only one avenue of resolution could have been done at that time after the repeal of the last and penultimate draft picks.
Mr. Mehta would have correctly drafted “Nuk” at pick 12 instead of next highest ADP player.
Mr. Mehta would have been forced to auto-draft the next highest ADP player at pick 13.
However, since this did not occur, Mr. Mehta was allowed to draft the player of his choosing instead of the player with which he should have been penalized.
Held: Pursuant to the facts above, Mr. Mehta never received a penalty for his actions.
II
Mr. Mehta contends that his draft pick during the 2019 Draft Order Determination was incumbent upon the commissioner knowing the facts above. Mr. Mehta provided the cell phone screen capture below as evidence.
However, the provided screen capture does not provide any evidence other than confirmation of “Nuk” was incorrectly drafted. There is no indication from the commissioner that “Nuk” could be designated as a keeper for a second year (breaking Article IX Section 3 of the Constitution).
Although the commissioner is responsible for execution and enforcement of the league Constitution, it is ultimately the team owner’s responsibility to follow the provided guidelines within the Constitution. Knowing, in 2018, “Nuk” was designated a first round keeper, it is incumbent upon Mr. Mehta that, according to league rules, “Nuk” could not be assigned as a keeper in 2019.
Held: Any culpability on the commissioner’s behalf is negated.
III
It is the commissioner’s responsibility to break any votes that result in a tie according to Article XII of the Constitution. On August 19 2019, a poll was submitted to the league requesting determination of the arguments set above. The result was a split decision.
Commissioner’s Decision: The 2019 draft order will remain as is.
IV
Though this decision and subsequent arguments have been difficult to assess, the commissioner recommends that an Amendment be made to the Constitution that allows for a triumvirate of commissioners to take the place of a single commissioner so as to alleviate the difficulty in assessing the league Constitution and passing judgment on any grievances.
The Sacko Bowl: shall be a manually tracked game following the last regular season game. If more than 2 teams have the same worst record at the end of the regular season, the “Points For” total will be used to determine the 2 last place teams.
Keeper Announcement: Every team owner must directly contact, via email or text, the commissioner to inform him of their keepers. A parenthetical in casual group conversation does not count.
Defensive Scoring Changes:
Remove defensive slot and replace with RB/WR/TE flex
Adjust defensive scoring and award points for return yards
UPDATE: Below is the following determined draft order.
Bav
Riz
Jameson
Scotty
Banger
Crawford
Beto
Aguirre
Sheets
Will
Hector
Mark
Draft order selection order will be determined by your best golfer’s final position at the end of The Open Championship.
Hector: Dustin Johnson, Brian Harman, Xander Schauffele Mark: Sergio Garcia, Henrik Stenson, Lee Westwood Bav: Jordan Spieth, Adam Scott, Francesco Molinari Jameson: Jon Rahm, Rafael Cabrera Bello, Kevin Kisner Beto: Rickie Fowler, Justin Rose, J.B. Holmes Will: Hideki Matsuyama, Shane Lowry, Zach Johnson Scott: Tommy Fleetwood, Marc Leishman, Padraig Harrington Banger: Jason Day, Thomas Pieters, Alex Noren James: Brooks Koepka, Patrick Reed, Martin Kaymer Sheets: Paul Casey, Peter Uihlein, Jason Dufner Eric: Branden Grace, Ian Poulter, Tyrrell Hatton Vyner: Phil Mickelson, Matt Kuchar, Bryson DeChambeau